I promised this post was coming, and so, here it is. The version of this new year’s wrap up post that I will actually talk about what the F happened this year, because it was a lot. I’ve been doing this for several years now, and I love to look back on these and see how I’ve grown and changed; things that bothered me, how silly I think things were in the past.
Let’s start at the beginning. In January, I began my yoga teacher training program. I had already stopped running to focus on yoga, and I knew this program would be a life-changing experience. Holy moly, was that ever right. January was difficult. I was adjusting to a lot of things still; it was cold; I was unhappy with a lot of things in my life.
February contained the most defining moment of my life. (Which is weird to say, knowing the events that would follow this same year.) I won’t go into it in detail, but there was a series of events and a shit-load of depression that led me to live in a cabin in a woods for four days by myself. I never blogged about the actual experience; I blogged about the results, and you can read them here: Learning to Love Openly. This four days of my life were the simplest, most quiet, most peaceful, and most emotionally torturous days of my life. It was a game-changer for me, and it changed the course of the rest of my year.
I can’t really go chronologically with the rest of the year, because it’s a blur of busy-ness and insanity. But within the course of this year, this is what happened:
- I had two months of the worst pain of my life that resulted in two root canals and a very empty bank account
- We celebrated Keith’s 30th birthday in a big way
- Keith was officially adopted by the man who raised him and whom he calls Dad
- I turned 27 – not really a significant event, but I knew 27 would be a good year
- Keith proposed
- Keith and I got married two and a half months later
- We watched my cousin marry his beautiful bride
- We took a week long vacation to Colorado for Wanderlust and adventure
- We had Kai for both long stretches in the summer and over Christmas
- We visited friends and my brother in Los Angeles
- We saw the Royals go to the World Series and got the opportunity to travel to San Fran to see the games
- We adopted my soulmate dog
- We found out our cat Rick James has diabetes
- I took a painting class that re-ignited by love for the art
- I graduated from yoga teacher training!
Holy shit. No wonder I’m exhausted!
2014 was a doozy. It was by far one of the most fun and active years of my life. However, this year was all preparation. The yoga teacher training, the painting class, the marriage, the vacations: all of this is preparing us to move into the next year.
I have a feeling 2015 is going to be a tough year. I’m at the brink of potential energy and kinetic action, just sort of hovering out in space somewhere. Soon enough, the ball is going to drop. This next year is going to be where all of the stuff I’ve been talking about molds itself together. It’s both terrifying and electrifying.
Also in looking forward, I usually make some resolutions that I invariably get forgotten by February, if not earlier. I wanted to do something different this year. I wanted to resolve to change something changeable; to stick to one resolution that would make the world a better place, not just me better. But, also something do-able.
So this year, I’d like to resolve to be more gentle with people. I have a tendency for tough love. I’ll love you, a lot, but if I think you’re doing something to hurt yourself, or hurt others that I love, I sort of lay it all on the line. I tend to hold others to the standards in which I hold myself (imperfectly, I might add), and let them have a piece of my mind.
While I do not want to let go of my connection to honesty, or deny my feelings, or let my friends go falling down the pinhole of poor life standards, I think I can do this in a more gentle way. No, I need to do this in a more gentle way. I let myself get too emotionally involved and take each person’s action to heart. I think I can be a bit stifling.
So, I resolve to give people more room. I resolve to take a step back. I resolve to absolve myself of responsibility for their personal lives. I resolve to be more gentle with people.
I have high hopes for 2015. I think it will be an emotionally trying year. I envision lots of days and nights spent crying and re-evaluating my life, but I know it’s working towards a better tomorrow. I’m following my intuition, and my intuition says GO. I’m ready to drop the ball.
Love to you and yours, and I hope you all have a beautiful and safe ring-in to 2015.